I'm helping to plan an outdoor concert this friday, which should be good. Planning things of an artistic nature, I have decided, is where I find my joy in life.
Take care.
Showing posts with label traveling mercies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label traveling mercies. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Creativity
Personal advice from experience:
a) Get a good dental plan
b) see a dentist often
c) floss often
d) eat less candy
Apparently I have a huge problem with one of my tooths (intentional grammar), and my dental plan does not cover it, so I have to just get a quick-fix which my plan does cover. This is a frustrating place to live sometimes, the land of junk food. But I can't blame culture, because I should have taken care of this a long time ago. And I can't complain, because I can afford to take care of my problems when I actually become brave enough to.
Hello, by the way. I kind of started this entry in the middle of a sentence. I have noticed that my journal entries have become less one-sided journals and more conversations- speaking with the assumption that people are reading this and trying to understand it.
I have a lot of unexpressed thinking on my mind, most of which comes out in my really great thinking times (in the shower, over coffee, in a coffeehouse) which I have not had any of recently. I heard it said once that "from the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks".
I have noticed that;
a) Writing prose, unlike poetry, is very immediate. Writing prose has to be well thought out. Although, a lot of prose seems to have more of a flow to it, like a well told story. I don't really know.
b) People that hang out at Ethical Addictions, one of my mainstay coffeehouses, all have a distinctive look. There are the quoteunquote "scene" kids that spend a lot of time trying to look very stylish, getting their hair and color schemes just right. Then there are the "artsy" kids that just wake up, and their look happens by default. I fall into this category.
You can always tell which are which. The artsy kids are the ones that act awkwardly around the really cute baristas. Case in point... I am too scared to talk to the cute baristas.
I do not know what I am talking about. This, like a couple of my last entries, have been transitional- trying to get from one place to the next, not fully settling on a theme, trying to find a theme to get settled into for a long period of time (home, creativity, expression of artistic ability, relationships, what have you).
So. Leave me a comment. Tell me something I should write about. I'm getting there. By "there" I mean, I'm searching for a theme to devote extensive thought.
Thus is creativity.
PS- I had an english toffee from Tim Horton's this morning. A very little known secret about me is that I always have one of these drinks before traveling. This or a moch frap from starbucks. Or at least I used to. Everytime I drink these I feel like I need to travel somewhere. Sigh.
a) Get a good dental plan
b) see a dentist often
c) floss often
d) eat less candy
Apparently I have a huge problem with one of my tooths (intentional grammar), and my dental plan does not cover it, so I have to just get a quick-fix which my plan does cover. This is a frustrating place to live sometimes, the land of junk food. But I can't blame culture, because I should have taken care of this a long time ago. And I can't complain, because I can afford to take care of my problems when I actually become brave enough to.
Hello, by the way. I kind of started this entry in the middle of a sentence. I have noticed that my journal entries have become less one-sided journals and more conversations- speaking with the assumption that people are reading this and trying to understand it.
I have a lot of unexpressed thinking on my mind, most of which comes out in my really great thinking times (in the shower, over coffee, in a coffeehouse) which I have not had any of recently. I heard it said once that "from the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks".
I have noticed that;
a) Writing prose, unlike poetry, is very immediate. Writing prose has to be well thought out. Although, a lot of prose seems to have more of a flow to it, like a well told story. I don't really know.
b) People that hang out at Ethical Addictions, one of my mainstay coffeehouses, all have a distinctive look. There are the quoteunquote "scene" kids that spend a lot of time trying to look very stylish, getting their hair and color schemes just right. Then there are the "artsy" kids that just wake up, and their look happens by default. I fall into this category.
You can always tell which are which. The artsy kids are the ones that act awkwardly around the really cute baristas. Case in point... I am too scared to talk to the cute baristas.
I do not know what I am talking about. This, like a couple of my last entries, have been transitional- trying to get from one place to the next, not fully settling on a theme, trying to find a theme to get settled into for a long period of time (home, creativity, expression of artistic ability, relationships, what have you).
So. Leave me a comment. Tell me something I should write about. I'm getting there. By "there" I mean, I'm searching for a theme to devote extensive thought.
Thus is creativity.
PS- I had an english toffee from Tim Horton's this morning. A very little known secret about me is that I always have one of these drinks before traveling. This or a moch frap from starbucks. Or at least I used to. Everytime I drink these I feel like I need to travel somewhere. Sigh.
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
grace eventually
I spent some time in chapters today, trying to find copies of The Ordering of the Heart by Madeleine L'Engle, The complete short stories of Flannery O'Conner, and Pilgrim at Tinker Creek by Annie Dillard.
But, alas, I couldn't find copies of any of those books. So instead I picked up "Grace Eventually" and "Ella Enchanted" (hey, stop laughing. that just happens to be a really nice book). I am addicted to books. I won't lie.
Then I walked over to The Buzz, and wrote this. Take care.
let go.
I sit quiet as in a calm blue pool,
like waves of jazz
from miles davis.
I let go as a kite in wind,
over the water
from the pacific ocean.
I quiet myself as if in a coffeehouse,
like a mug warming slowly
from earl gray tea.
I hold on to God as if alone,
like a newlywed
from a long separation.
or else, God holds on to me.
and this is all I can do to
keep myself from running away.
But, alas, I couldn't find copies of any of those books. So instead I picked up "Grace Eventually" and "Ella Enchanted" (hey, stop laughing. that just happens to be a really nice book). I am addicted to books. I won't lie.
Then I walked over to The Buzz, and wrote this. Take care.
let go.
I sit quiet as in a calm blue pool,
like waves of jazz
from miles davis.
I let go as a kite in wind,
over the water
from the pacific ocean.
I quiet myself as if in a coffeehouse,
like a mug warming slowly
from earl gray tea.
I hold on to God as if alone,
like a newlywed
from a long separation.
or else, God holds on to me.
and this is all I can do to
keep myself from running away.
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
everyone around here
A long overdue entry or a long way gone.
I came into Nanaimo today, worn out and weathered from a weeks worth of walking. Just off the ferry- one of the new ones they just built- I kept walking and crashed in a park in downtown nanaimo, under the shade of a tree on a hill near a small beach.
In any case, I am skipping many many details here. So I will try, as caffeinated and awkward and obnoxious as I am right now, to write this story as interesting as possible.
This weekend I went to a "full gospel business men's" retreat in Kelowna,- which is not at all and never will be my style. I was there helping a friend set up worship services. It was actually quite enjoyable. All the men there talked about "the spirit" a lot, and spoke in tongues. I myself just walking around the lake, and talked a lot about being way too human.
I'm not going to find out whether or not I have a job until friday, So I jumped a bus to Kitsalano the next day to visit my friend and, essentially, run away from the constant sense of dread that comes with waiting.
A good 30 percent of my life, I have concluded, is spent waiting for something to happen.
At my friends house in Kits I tried to walk to the beach but I got lost, and walking an hour in the wrong direction. Eventually I found Kits beach, had two slices of pizza, wrote poems at a coffee house called "bean around the world" and watched the sun set into a wave of clouds and mountains, in several colors across a clear sky. Epic.
The next day... well, today, I took off from my friends house to Granville to find a bus to the ferries, and got lost again... then walked a half hour in the wrong direction, again, and missed my ferry.
Eventually, I came into Nanaimo, and therein my story comes full circle. In Nanaimo I tried to find some pizza downtown, to no avail. So I found a small bakery and ate three croissants. Then I visited a coffee place that sells "salt spring island" coffee, and then met up with a friend of mine.
After said coffee we drove to another coffeehouse I like called the buzz, and I had some tea and talked way too much because I was way too wired and worn down from travel.
What I'm finding out, since coming home, is that things that are commonplace in Vancouver- such as cheap pizza, concerts, art, and coffeehouses- are awkward here, for the most part.
Thus, I am on another random awkward journey, trying to escape my problems, as is the reason that many of mankind's greatest journeys have been taken.
In any case... I need to stop talking. I am really getting sick of the sound of my own voice. The next entry will a lot more relaxed. I will have simpler, more concise, stories to tell.
The alternative to this long and annoying blog entry, if you have chosen to skim my work up until this point, is the following summary list of things I have done in the past 6 days:
1) Attended men's retreat, with a bunch of pentecostal men.
2) Got lost in Kistalano Beach
3) Had pizza and coffee overlooking the ocean
4) Got lost in Granville
5) Fell asleep under a tree listening to Kid A in Nanaimo
6) Had coffee in Downtown Nanaimo.
7) Had tea in the North end of Nanaimo
8) Disliked myself for running away from my problems, and writing this effing long journal.
9) watched Bridget Jones 2.
10) Took a deep breathe, and went to bed.
Notes to self: Drink juice instead of tea. Write shorter entries. Stop making excuses. Sleep for more than 3 hours. purchase a german beer.
More, or less, to come.
I came into Nanaimo today, worn out and weathered from a weeks worth of walking. Just off the ferry- one of the new ones they just built- I kept walking and crashed in a park in downtown nanaimo, under the shade of a tree on a hill near a small beach.
In any case, I am skipping many many details here. So I will try, as caffeinated and awkward and obnoxious as I am right now, to write this story as interesting as possible.
This weekend I went to a "full gospel business men's" retreat in Kelowna,- which is not at all and never will be my style. I was there helping a friend set up worship services. It was actually quite enjoyable. All the men there talked about "the spirit" a lot, and spoke in tongues. I myself just walking around the lake, and talked a lot about being way too human.
I'm not going to find out whether or not I have a job until friday, So I jumped a bus to Kitsalano the next day to visit my friend and, essentially, run away from the constant sense of dread that comes with waiting.
A good 30 percent of my life, I have concluded, is spent waiting for something to happen.
At my friends house in Kits I tried to walk to the beach but I got lost, and walking an hour in the wrong direction. Eventually I found Kits beach, had two slices of pizza, wrote poems at a coffee house called "bean around the world" and watched the sun set into a wave of clouds and mountains, in several colors across a clear sky. Epic.
The next day... well, today, I took off from my friends house to Granville to find a bus to the ferries, and got lost again... then walked a half hour in the wrong direction, again, and missed my ferry.
Eventually, I came into Nanaimo, and therein my story comes full circle. In Nanaimo I tried to find some pizza downtown, to no avail. So I found a small bakery and ate three croissants. Then I visited a coffee place that sells "salt spring island" coffee, and then met up with a friend of mine.
After said coffee we drove to another coffeehouse I like called the buzz, and I had some tea and talked way too much because I was way too wired and worn down from travel.
What I'm finding out, since coming home, is that things that are commonplace in Vancouver- such as cheap pizza, concerts, art, and coffeehouses- are awkward here, for the most part.
Thus, I am on another random awkward journey, trying to escape my problems, as is the reason that many of mankind's greatest journeys have been taken.
In any case... I need to stop talking. I am really getting sick of the sound of my own voice. The next entry will a lot more relaxed. I will have simpler, more concise, stories to tell.
The alternative to this long and annoying blog entry, if you have chosen to skim my work up until this point, is the following summary list of things I have done in the past 6 days:
1) Attended men's retreat, with a bunch of pentecostal men.
2) Got lost in Kistalano Beach
3) Had pizza and coffee overlooking the ocean
4) Got lost in Granville
5) Fell asleep under a tree listening to Kid A in Nanaimo
6) Had coffee in Downtown Nanaimo.
7) Had tea in the North end of Nanaimo
8) Disliked myself for running away from my problems, and writing this effing long journal.
9) watched Bridget Jones 2.
10) Took a deep breathe, and went to bed.
Notes to self: Drink juice instead of tea. Write shorter entries. Stop making excuses. Sleep for more than 3 hours. purchase a german beer.
More, or less, to come.
Monday, April 28, 2008
we carry too much
... and you'd carry that, all you deserve.
never entitled to arms or holding close.
growing up beautiful is more than it seemed.
I spent some time on one of British Columbia's gulf islands this past weekend, a place called "Pender Island" an hour or so ferry ride from Victoria and greater Vancouver.
I came home and someone told me that at a Starfield/ Shane & Shane/ Bethany Dillon concert, here in Abbotsford, a 25 by 25 foot section of flooring collapsed, and 80ish people fell 5 meters into the basement. 40 people were injured though only one person was seriously injured.
I was really shaken by this at first, being a youth worker. I was supposed to be at this concert, but instead I was traveling to a youth retreat. I know there is some profound thing I am supposed to capture in all of this, some connection to be made, but I'm struggling to make that connection.
The first image that came to mind when I heard about this was youth workers at the concert rushing to the scene of the collapse, offering help, coming together. The next image was youth workers calling each other the next day, seeing which kids were hurt. And this, I think, is the heart of youth ministry- caring. I started to feel a compulsion to make calls myself, to hear stories and to be involved.
Though, I took a step back. The last thing I want to be is a band-wagoner, jumping in on some pity party. I do want to offer my sincere concern, but I also don't want to press an issue to much. Thus is life.
So, I'm back to my awkward stage of waiting to see wether or not I have a job, again. Next weekend I'm going to another retreat in the interior of BC somewhere, I have no idea. I hope to get some woods time, away from commitments and youth work for a couple days. I still have a lot of hurt to get through from this past semester- the hard stuff we have to carry in the mess of being real, living intentionally, learning the odds and ends of self respect.
Am I just sounding crazy here? I watched the "Return of the King" on friday, and in the end of the film frodo (I really hope I don't sound like a nerd) talked about the hurt that he still had from carrying the ring, even after it was gone from his life.
I think living life itself can feel like that. Even after we have come through the hard times we still carry the weight of that experience, almost to remind ourselves to keep learning. just a thought. comment if you want to help me finish that thought. I would be grateful.
Anyway, I owe you some pictures. I'll have a couple posts on "Art is for Birds" up this next week, I promise.
Later.
~
And thus it was. A fourth age of middle-earth began. And the fellowship of the ring, though eternally bound by friendship and love, was ended. Thirteen months to the day since Gandalf sent us on our long journey we found ourselves looking upon a familiar sight. We were home. How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand there is no going back? There are somethings that time cannot mend, some hurts that go too deep that have taken hold. Bilbo once told me his part in this tale would end, that each of us must come and go in the telling. Bilbo's story was now over. There would be no more journeys for him, save one. My dear Sam. You cannot always be torn in two. You will have to be one and whole for many years. You have so much to enjoy and to be and to do. Your part in the story will go on.
- frodo, return of the king.
never entitled to arms or holding close.
growing up beautiful is more than it seemed.
I spent some time on one of British Columbia's gulf islands this past weekend, a place called "Pender Island" an hour or so ferry ride from Victoria and greater Vancouver.
I came home and someone told me that at a Starfield/ Shane & Shane/ Bethany Dillon concert, here in Abbotsford, a 25 by 25 foot section of flooring collapsed, and 80ish people fell 5 meters into the basement. 40 people were injured though only one person was seriously injured.
I was really shaken by this at first, being a youth worker. I was supposed to be at this concert, but instead I was traveling to a youth retreat. I know there is some profound thing I am supposed to capture in all of this, some connection to be made, but I'm struggling to make that connection.
The first image that came to mind when I heard about this was youth workers at the concert rushing to the scene of the collapse, offering help, coming together. The next image was youth workers calling each other the next day, seeing which kids were hurt. And this, I think, is the heart of youth ministry- caring. I started to feel a compulsion to make calls myself, to hear stories and to be involved.
Though, I took a step back. The last thing I want to be is a band-wagoner, jumping in on some pity party. I do want to offer my sincere concern, but I also don't want to press an issue to much. Thus is life.
So, I'm back to my awkward stage of waiting to see wether or not I have a job, again. Next weekend I'm going to another retreat in the interior of BC somewhere, I have no idea. I hope to get some woods time, away from commitments and youth work for a couple days. I still have a lot of hurt to get through from this past semester- the hard stuff we have to carry in the mess of being real, living intentionally, learning the odds and ends of self respect.
Am I just sounding crazy here? I watched the "Return of the King" on friday, and in the end of the film frodo (I really hope I don't sound like a nerd) talked about the hurt that he still had from carrying the ring, even after it was gone from his life.
I think living life itself can feel like that. Even after we have come through the hard times we still carry the weight of that experience, almost to remind ourselves to keep learning. just a thought. comment if you want to help me finish that thought. I would be grateful.
Anyway, I owe you some pictures. I'll have a couple posts on "Art is for Birds" up this next week, I promise.
Later.
~
And thus it was. A fourth age of middle-earth began. And the fellowship of the ring, though eternally bound by friendship and love, was ended. Thirteen months to the day since Gandalf sent us on our long journey we found ourselves looking upon a familiar sight. We were home. How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand there is no going back? There are somethings that time cannot mend, some hurts that go too deep that have taken hold. Bilbo once told me his part in this tale would end, that each of us must come and go in the telling. Bilbo's story was now over. There would be no more journeys for him, save one. My dear Sam. You cannot always be torn in two. You will have to be one and whole for many years. You have so much to enjoy and to be and to do. Your part in the story will go on.
- frodo, return of the king.
Monday, April 21, 2008
sky blue sky
Odds, ends.
Its finally sunny again. Kind of. At least it was when I first woke up.
I have a new room, beside my old one, that allows me a noticiably larger amount of space and light. I set up m bed right beside a window, so when it gets warmer I can wake up to fresh air and birds.
This also gives me something to look at while I write, as my desk space is not limited to a dark corner, or placed in front of a wall. All in all, this is a decent set up.
A lot has changed since last year. Like roommates. I don't live with Jeff (ben stiller) anymore, and I have not had any good conversations about shalom in a long long time.
I now live with this guy;
Oh no, wait. I do not live with Jensen Ackles (Smallville anyone?) I live with this fellow:
Nothing says "fish for lunch" like two guys from Vancouver Island sharing a house.
In other news, I am feeling the impending doom of rejection, as I still haven't heard back about the youth work job I am supposed to be doing this year. Which sucks for several reasons:
1) I have nothing to do for the next month, except watch movies and loathe myself for my spending habits.
2) I am horribly broke because of tuition fees
3) This is the 4th summer in a row I have tried to get a youth work job.
Anyway, I have nothing to complain about. I think it is going to be a good summer. I will hopefully enjoy the following things often:
1) acoustic music
2) clear, warm morning air
3) the backdeck
4) Green tea
5) Fair Trade South American Coffee. mmm.
We'll see. More to come, friends, once life gets started again.
Later.
Its finally sunny again. Kind of. At least it was when I first woke up.
I have a new room, beside my old one, that allows me a noticiably larger amount of space and light. I set up m bed right beside a window, so when it gets warmer I can wake up to fresh air and birds.
This also gives me something to look at while I write, as my desk space is not limited to a dark corner, or placed in front of a wall. All in all, this is a decent set up.
A lot has changed since last year. Like roommates. I don't live with Jeff (ben stiller) anymore, and I have not had any good conversations about shalom in a long long time.
I now live with this guy;
Oh no, wait. I do not live with Jensen Ackles (Smallville anyone?) I live with this fellow:
Nothing says "fish for lunch" like two guys from Vancouver Island sharing a house.
In other news, I am feeling the impending doom of rejection, as I still haven't heard back about the youth work job I am supposed to be doing this year. Which sucks for several reasons:
1) I have nothing to do for the next month, except watch movies and loathe myself for my spending habits.
2) I am horribly broke because of tuition fees
3) This is the 4th summer in a row I have tried to get a youth work job.
Anyway, I have nothing to complain about. I think it is going to be a good summer. I will hopefully enjoy the following things often:
1) acoustic music
2) clear, warm morning air
3) the backdeck
4) Green tea
5) Fair Trade South American Coffee. mmm.
We'll see. More to come, friends, once life gets started again.
Later.
Monday, April 14, 2008
blue like jazz
It was a pretty perfect couple of days on Friday and Saturday, I must say.
After a really difficult week my friend, Karina, and I went to see a Valley Festival Singers performance- which is a local choir group- with the theme of black spirituals. A couple of my friends were singing, and the Nelson Boschman Trio was playing, so all in all an amazing evening of song.
Afterwards we took a walk to a pizza place and shared a medium hawaiian overlooking the dim lights, and passing traffic, of South Fraser Way- a strip of Abbotsford where a mall, a Safeway, and numerous other stores and cafes call home.
It is not a spectacular place by any means, but these insignificant details of the town one calls home are always more beautiful when shared with a friend.
Saturday was as close to perfect as days can be... with the minor exception of an hour or so when I had a bit too much coffee and felt wired. I woke up at around 9 and a friend, Alex Friesen, called me, reminding me that Radiohead tickets were going on sale that morning at10!
Ah! So Alex, Greg, and I took a walk in the beautiful morning sunlight to the mall and waited around until 10. Then at 10:01 I picked up my horribly overpriced $77 ticket.
Thus, I now have ticket to see Radiohead in August. Ah Ha Ha!!! I am super excited for this one!
The day, then, consisted of me finishing novels, sitting under trees on campus, and sitting on my backdeck in the cool of night with a bottle of beer from holland. It does not get much better than this, friends.
Then Sunday was really overcast. And boring. And so is today. Thus proving the old cliche regarding British Columbia: If you don't like the weather just wait 5 minutes.
So now I am listening to In Rainbows for the second time this morning, about to have a gradually cooling mug of green tea, and about to finish papers that were due two weeks ago. Can't wait until summer starts up.
See you.
After a really difficult week my friend, Karina, and I went to see a Valley Festival Singers performance- which is a local choir group- with the theme of black spirituals. A couple of my friends were singing, and the Nelson Boschman Trio was playing, so all in all an amazing evening of song.
Afterwards we took a walk to a pizza place and shared a medium hawaiian overlooking the dim lights, and passing traffic, of South Fraser Way- a strip of Abbotsford where a mall, a Safeway, and numerous other stores and cafes call home.
It is not a spectacular place by any means, but these insignificant details of the town one calls home are always more beautiful when shared with a friend.
Saturday was as close to perfect as days can be... with the minor exception of an hour or so when I had a bit too much coffee and felt wired. I woke up at around 9 and a friend, Alex Friesen, called me, reminding me that Radiohead tickets were going on sale that morning at10!
Ah! So Alex, Greg, and I took a walk in the beautiful morning sunlight to the mall and waited around until 10. Then at 10:01 I picked up my horribly overpriced $77 ticket.
Thus, I now have ticket to see Radiohead in August. Ah Ha Ha!!! I am super excited for this one!
The day, then, consisted of me finishing novels, sitting under trees on campus, and sitting on my backdeck in the cool of night with a bottle of beer from holland. It does not get much better than this, friends.
Then Sunday was really overcast. And boring. And so is today. Thus proving the old cliche regarding British Columbia: If you don't like the weather just wait 5 minutes.
So now I am listening to In Rainbows for the second time this morning, about to have a gradually cooling mug of green tea, and about to finish papers that were due two weeks ago. Can't wait until summer starts up.
See you.
Sunday, April 06, 2008
more than alive
Today is a pretty slow day. It was raining this morning so I stayed in and watched "Chocolat". I have a bit of a craving for Bridget Jones. The movie, not Bridget herself... although.
School is almost done, in 2 weeks or so. I'm trying to tie up all the loose ends before summer - i.e. who I like, what bills I need to pay, what music I need to listen to.
I find it is really hard to keep things organized in a set plan. Sometimes the details of life get mixed together, so all I have left is a big mess of priorities, all of which I have to unpack and decide which are the more important to keep (and which are disposable). The to do list gets too complicated to follow through with, leaving me in an overwhelmed state.
Am I just sounding crazy here? To me this is what being a 23 year old / a college student feels like. It is the daily mess of making mistakes and learning from those mistakes, as opposed to having everything neatly laid out for me. The basic thought is that no-one taught me much about adult life- finances, time management, taxes. I'm making this up as I go along.
Maybe it is just as well. I think there are things in this life that have to be experienced in order to be learned, things you won't understand until you yourself have felt them - pain, love, rain, quiet nights under stars. It's basically like something out of a calming movie, or a book of reflective prose.
Though that is not to say I'm fine learning this alone. I do still feel the dire need for a mentor in my life to help me answer those questions, deal with the shit, that I am hard pressed to answer.
yeeeah. so thats that. deep breath. I need to avoid having so much tea. it gets me thinking too much.
later.
- Adam
currently listening to: Hayden (link conveniently located to your right).
School is almost done, in 2 weeks or so. I'm trying to tie up all the loose ends before summer - i.e. who I like, what bills I need to pay, what music I need to listen to.
I find it is really hard to keep things organized in a set plan. Sometimes the details of life get mixed together, so all I have left is a big mess of priorities, all of which I have to unpack and decide which are the more important to keep (and which are disposable). The to do list gets too complicated to follow through with, leaving me in an overwhelmed state.
Am I just sounding crazy here? To me this is what being a 23 year old / a college student feels like. It is the daily mess of making mistakes and learning from those mistakes, as opposed to having everything neatly laid out for me. The basic thought is that no-one taught me much about adult life- finances, time management, taxes. I'm making this up as I go along.
Maybe it is just as well. I think there are things in this life that have to be experienced in order to be learned, things you won't understand until you yourself have felt them - pain, love, rain, quiet nights under stars. It's basically like something out of a calming movie, or a book of reflective prose.
Though that is not to say I'm fine learning this alone. I do still feel the dire need for a mentor in my life to help me answer those questions, deal with the shit, that I am hard pressed to answer.
yeeeah. so thats that. deep breath. I need to avoid having so much tea. it gets me thinking too much.
later.
- Adam
currently listening to: Hayden (link conveniently located to your right).
Thursday, March 20, 2008
ruby don't go downtown, ruby come in and stay
umm.
damn. I sat down to type some profound thought, but I forgot what it was. bah!
So, life. Last night I put on an arts gallery here at CBC, and about 30 people showed up for conversation, all the while I was making sure a healthy amount of tea and coffee was made, and an even healthier amount of Ryan Adams and Belle & Sebastian were playing in the background.
I owe you pictures. My camera has been on the dead side of things. The picture posted above, for the time being, is a picture of "Afterthoughts"- a cafe I frequent with friends (girls) with images of italian people kissing painted on the walls. I took this picture ten minutes before closing time, after reading some wendell berry.
Everyone, by the way, should read "The Art of the Commonplace" at some point in life.
Tonight I'm hosting a concert for this guy. Thus is my continued life of planning arts shows, trying to suck less at public speaking, and trying to actually experience this thing called "life" I'm always talking about.
Now... if only I could remember what I wanted to say.
Your homework for this week is to listen to Jacob and Lily. I booked an outdoor concert for them last year at school, and it continues to be one of the highlights of my life. "Ruby" is really good.
Enjoy.
damn. I sat down to type some profound thought, but I forgot what it was. bah!
So, life. Last night I put on an arts gallery here at CBC, and about 30 people showed up for conversation, all the while I was making sure a healthy amount of tea and coffee was made, and an even healthier amount of Ryan Adams and Belle & Sebastian were playing in the background.
I owe you pictures. My camera has been on the dead side of things. The picture posted above, for the time being, is a picture of "Afterthoughts"- a cafe I frequent with friends (girls) with images of italian people kissing painted on the walls. I took this picture ten minutes before closing time, after reading some wendell berry.
Everyone, by the way, should read "The Art of the Commonplace" at some point in life.
Tonight I'm hosting a concert for this guy. Thus is my continued life of planning arts shows, trying to suck less at public speaking, and trying to actually experience this thing called "life" I'm always talking about.
Now... if only I could remember what I wanted to say.
Your homework for this week is to listen to Jacob and Lily. I booked an outdoor concert for them last year at school, and it continues to be one of the highlights of my life. "Ruby" is really good.
Enjoy.
Monday, March 17, 2008
no I am not where I belong
For some reason I am way too wired to write anything intelligable, but I will try anyway just to bug you.
Some friends and I took a road trip to a place called "Naam" in Vancouver last night. It was a small vegan place, full of mostly artsy people (with the occasional tradesman guys there who looked really out of place). I must say, I was impressed. I tried a tea made mostly with nettle, peppermint (the kinds of things in my backyard which often fall prey to lawnmowers).
They had this cheescake there with an organic blueberry sauce, which changed how I think about blueberries. In general, actual food has those earthy qualites which almost turn tasting into experiencing.
...As opposed to simulated blueberry flavours, which try and pretend they taste like anything profound. Why eat fake food when the real thing is so easily accesible?
I think, too often, our cultural mindset tells us to go after something that looks like love, or something that tastes sort of like something that tastes good, rather than go for the real thing. Of course, the real thing just takes a bit more work and imagination, doesen't it?
Experiencing life could be as easy as standing outside on a rainy morning, or as difficult as dropping 2000 bucks to fly to some tropical fantasy. I dunno. This notion has always made me kind of cynical- which I don't like to be.
~
In other news, i feel a little down today. Its gray out, I have homework, and I have not payed bills in 3 weeks. Which is all trivial in the grand scheme of things.
This is what being in college is like, friends. Life is, as Anne Lamott described "Pretty good, some problems".
Later
Some friends and I took a road trip to a place called "Naam" in Vancouver last night. It was a small vegan place, full of mostly artsy people (with the occasional tradesman guys there who looked really out of place). I must say, I was impressed. I tried a tea made mostly with nettle, peppermint (the kinds of things in my backyard which often fall prey to lawnmowers).
They had this cheescake there with an organic blueberry sauce, which changed how I think about blueberries. In general, actual food has those earthy qualites which almost turn tasting into experiencing.
...As opposed to simulated blueberry flavours, which try and pretend they taste like anything profound. Why eat fake food when the real thing is so easily accesible?
I think, too often, our cultural mindset tells us to go after something that looks like love, or something that tastes sort of like something that tastes good, rather than go for the real thing. Of course, the real thing just takes a bit more work and imagination, doesen't it?
Experiencing life could be as easy as standing outside on a rainy morning, or as difficult as dropping 2000 bucks to fly to some tropical fantasy. I dunno. This notion has always made me kind of cynical- which I don't like to be.
~
In other news, i feel a little down today. Its gray out, I have homework, and I have not payed bills in 3 weeks. Which is all trivial in the grand scheme of things.
This is what being in college is like, friends. Life is, as Anne Lamott described "Pretty good, some problems".
Later
Saturday, February 09, 2008
the colder side of land and sea
Josiah Leming, One last song
The ship was sinking; we were drinking, singing one last song,
Casting our gold into the ocean.
You grabbed a bucket, started screaming, "Come on, come on",
Trying to slow the downward motion.
Back in the kingdom, we were kings and queens and Oh, so strong
That God himself could not contain us.
We never thought we'd be the shorter half of sword and gun.
Now god himself could never save us.
Waves of silver, waves of gold
Are coming now to take me,
To separate my body from my soul
And Jesus leaves or takes me.
Hopes of heaven, fears of hell
Tell me, what's the chance I'll make it.
All my other plans have failed,
And all this time I've faked it.
We started sinking, drinking water from the open sea
Losing our bodies to the ocean.
You grabbed my hand and started screaming, "rescue me"
Together fight the downward motion.
Back in the kingdom we were kings and queens and Oh, so strong
That god himself just had to show us.
We never thought we'd see the colder side of land and sea
But he's the only one who knows us.
Saturday, January 05, 2008
Waiting
So, thats that I guess.
I took the greyhound (never again) home to Abbotsford today, and then got on the wrong transit bus twice. Then I walked home for two hours.
In Vancouver I;
1) Spent way too many hours at the Drive
2) Spent, also, way too much time on Burrard
3) Did not spend enough time at JJ Bean
4) Performed poetry at Cafe De' Soleil (randomly).
5) Visited Georgia O Keefe and Emily Carr at the Vancouver Art Gallery.
6) Drank a bottle of Island Lager on a cold and windy night looking out at lights of Vancouver across the ocean water. Beautiful.
7) Watched many a beautiful film: Juno, Garden State, Blood Diamond.
Now I'm home, and trying to adapt back to college life while toying with the notion of writing some good poetry. one of these days.
I'm planning my first concert this year with a friend, at a City Blends. If you really want to go, its Saturday at 7.
I learned more than I could imagine in a few days of traveling. Such as how to talk to a crowd instead of at a crowd when performing. And now I know less about home than before.
Which is humbling, almost enjoyable, a bit sad. I wrote in my journal yesterday that "It's God's gentle way of saying 'It's Ok. I have this all figured out for you. All you have to do is enjoy it"
So, this year is going to be a lot of that. Hopefully.
Listening to: Death Cab for Cutie - Transantlanticism
Reading: Traveling Mercies
Watching: Born into Brothels
Thinking: You (as always).
~
these snowy nights can remind me of my finitide,
gently tapping on my arm.
the smell of pine trees and cold air falls
and leaves like a faded holiday season lost of warmth and memory.
We'll look back fondly in a year or so.
The most beautiful and pure aromas have lived here with me,
pinned to my walls and the ceiling every morning,
every night I was praying for another today, another chance to get things right.
I took the greyhound (never again) home to Abbotsford today, and then got on the wrong transit bus twice. Then I walked home for two hours.
In Vancouver I;
1) Spent way too many hours at the Drive
2) Spent, also, way too much time on Burrard
3) Did not spend enough time at JJ Bean
4) Performed poetry at Cafe De' Soleil (randomly).
5) Visited Georgia O Keefe and Emily Carr at the Vancouver Art Gallery.
6) Drank a bottle of Island Lager on a cold and windy night looking out at lights of Vancouver across the ocean water. Beautiful.
7) Watched many a beautiful film: Juno, Garden State, Blood Diamond.
Now I'm home, and trying to adapt back to college life while toying with the notion of writing some good poetry. one of these days.
I'm planning my first concert this year with a friend, at a City Blends. If you really want to go, its Saturday at 7.
I learned more than I could imagine in a few days of traveling. Such as how to talk to a crowd instead of at a crowd when performing. And now I know less about home than before.
Which is humbling, almost enjoyable, a bit sad. I wrote in my journal yesterday that "It's God's gentle way of saying 'It's Ok. I have this all figured out for you. All you have to do is enjoy it"
So, this year is going to be a lot of that. Hopefully.
Listening to: Death Cab for Cutie - Transantlanticism
Reading: Traveling Mercies
Watching: Born into Brothels
Thinking: You (as always).
~
these snowy nights can remind me of my finitide,
gently tapping on my arm.
the smell of pine trees and cold air falls
and leaves like a faded holiday season lost of warmth and memory.
We'll look back fondly in a year or so.
The most beautiful and pure aromas have lived here with me,
pinned to my walls and the ceiling every morning,
every night I was praying for another today, another chance to get things right.
Monday, December 31, 2007
endless numbered days
Hello Friends.
You will all be happy to know that I am safe in Vancouver, after three days of fun in Washington state.
Some good stuff I found:
In downtown bellingham I found one street with three packed bookstores! I came pretty close to spending an entire day there. My time was divided between The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath and some Luci Shaw poems (foolishly, I did not purchase either of those). Eventually I just picked up a copy of Traveling Mercies for my mom.
I found this great artsy town called "Fairhaven", with a cafe that served vegetarian food, a record store right next to an italian coffee place, inside a building with a small fountain and winding stairs. It was heaven.
At the record store I found copies of "Our endless numbered days" by Iron and Wine on vinyl. This purchase will definately turn into many nights of tea and conversation.
I had concluded that I will definately live inside an artsy town when I grow up.
So. I will keep you updated. I need some down time. or some home-made alfredo sauce.
Thus is my traveling life.
You will all be happy to know that I am safe in Vancouver, after three days of fun in Washington state.
Some good stuff I found:
In downtown bellingham I found one street with three packed bookstores! I came pretty close to spending an entire day there. My time was divided between The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath and some Luci Shaw poems (foolishly, I did not purchase either of those). Eventually I just picked up a copy of Traveling Mercies for my mom.
I found this great artsy town called "Fairhaven", with a cafe that served vegetarian food, a record store right next to an italian coffee place, inside a building with a small fountain and winding stairs. It was heaven.
At the record store I found copies of "Our endless numbered days" by Iron and Wine on vinyl. This purchase will definately turn into many nights of tea and conversation.
I had concluded that I will definately live inside an artsy town when I grow up.
So. I will keep you updated. I need some down time. or some home-made alfredo sauce.
Thus is my traveling life.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
traveling grace
Imagination seems to be the thing least valued in our present culture. There is a lot of attention given to fantasy, but the difference between fantasy and imagination is that in fantasy the story has us at the center of it, indulging us. Imagination
- eugene peterson
A Christmas Journal: Chapter 6
My life is turning another chapter today. Kind of. Upon realizing that this isn't the home I thought it would be, I'm going to go look for it.
I'm traveling to the Seattle area tommorow to meet up with my mom, who moved there this year with a man she met online. It should be good. Apperantly she lives in a tiny place called "Ferndale", so many adventures and conversatians involving my weird progressive ideas will ensue.
Then after that I'm going into Vancouver, the most beautiful city I know. On this stretch of my trip I will be:
1) taking the skytrain to the neighborhoods I frequent- Gastown, Granville, East Hastings, Commercial.
2) Stopping into the Vancouver Arts Gallery for the "Georgia O'Keefe" exhibit.
3) Sitting down at JJ Bean
4) Meeting at least one or two people of the creative and feminine persuasion. hopefully. If I can get over this whole "insecure" thing.
5) Writing something.
6) Conversing about life.
7) chasing a skunk. or a squirrel.
And just for fun, I'm going to put together a collection of things that every person in their twenties should experience. If you haven't already experienced these mainstays make sure you do... today. unless you already have (Heather):
Illinois - Sufjan Stevens
Five Leaves Left - Nick Drake
Transatlanticism - Death Cab for Cutie
Garden State
The Royal Tennenbaums
Good Will Hunting
Blue Like Jazz - Donald Miller
Traveling Mercies - Anne Lamott
Life after God - Douglas Copeland
The list goes on. On a side note, I always feel like a bit of a tool when I look back on a long blog and realize that I have not said much. Or, I have said too much and lack a central uniting theme.
Sigh. I'll work on that when I'm traveling. I think thats what traveling is all about, really- finding some wisdom in writing. You learn to say what is important, and work through the rest in solitude- working through the details quietly over a warm drink, enjoying the relaxing prospect of developing insights and connections.
Let's talk. Later.
- Adam
- eugene peterson
A Christmas Journal: Chapter 6
My life is turning another chapter today. Kind of. Upon realizing that this isn't the home I thought it would be, I'm going to go look for it.
I'm traveling to the Seattle area tommorow to meet up with my mom, who moved there this year with a man she met online. It should be good. Apperantly she lives in a tiny place called "Ferndale", so many adventures and conversatians involving my weird progressive ideas will ensue.
Then after that I'm going into Vancouver, the most beautiful city I know. On this stretch of my trip I will be:
1) taking the skytrain to the neighborhoods I frequent- Gastown, Granville, East Hastings, Commercial.
2) Stopping into the Vancouver Arts Gallery for the "Georgia O'Keefe" exhibit.
3) Sitting down at JJ Bean
4) Meeting at least one or two people of the creative and feminine persuasion. hopefully. If I can get over this whole "insecure" thing.
5) Writing something.
6) Conversing about life.
7) chasing a skunk. or a squirrel.
And just for fun, I'm going to put together a collection of things that every person in their twenties should experience. If you haven't already experienced these mainstays make sure you do... today. unless you already have (Heather):
Illinois - Sufjan Stevens
Five Leaves Left - Nick Drake
Transatlanticism - Death Cab for Cutie
Garden State
The Royal Tennenbaums
Good Will Hunting
Blue Like Jazz - Donald Miller
Traveling Mercies - Anne Lamott
Life after God - Douglas Copeland
The list goes on. On a side note, I always feel like a bit of a tool when I look back on a long blog and realize that I have not said much. Or, I have said too much and lack a central uniting theme.
Sigh. I'll work on that when I'm traveling. I think thats what traveling is all about, really- finding some wisdom in writing. You learn to say what is important, and work through the rest in solitude- working through the details quietly over a warm drink, enjoying the relaxing prospect of developing insights and connections.
Let's talk. Later.
- Adam
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