i was sitting on a camp chair, beside my school's cafeteria, facing the empty fountain, when i was asked to apply for a youth ministry job in september. one more thing to think about.
bible college is full of new experiences, things one would never experience anywhere else. well, something new has hit me today. that i'm not going home. i'm not leaving for nanaimo, like i have for the past three years. i'm staying here.
things will change. i'm still looking for "home".
Our truest responsibility to the irrationality of the world is to paint or sing or write, for only in such response do we find the truth. - Madelaine L'Engle
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- Persepolis
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- The Lives of Others
- The Secret Life of Words
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- Once
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2 comments:
Although I call different places "home" now and again, I've come to the realization that I will never truely feel at home again. From having travelled and lived cross-culturally, I often feel homesick for places I have loved, but I know that I can never truely be a part of those places, nor can I any longer identify completely with my own original "home". Although I've struggled with this, I know that my real home is waiting for me in heaven, and until then, I'm merely occupying space and trying best to immerse myself in my current community, knowing that it will change, but that thats ok. I don't know if this makes any sense, but keeping my eye on my heavely home has helped me come to terms with what it sounds like you're trying to make sense of.
i'm back-reading blogs right now. 'cause i have 1.5 hours of work left...and nothing at all to do. this made me remember how i started to feel like that after being at college for a couple years...this sense of being a visitor in your own home(s) and of drifterism that doesn't seem like it's going to pass--it's just going to get wider and deeper (which oh yeah, it has.)...at first i hated it. then i loved it. now i hatelove it.
"Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." --Matt. 8:20
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