prone to wander, Lord, I feel it

today I listened to "Songs For Christmas" by Sufjan Stevens, in its entirety, while washing walls and 30 year old carpets. It was a good place to be.

Then I felt horribly convicted about all the free music I've been adding to my computer lately. i wonder how an artist would feel about me.

or i wonder, even more, how I'm supposed to feel about myself... as an artist. hmm. i think too much.

Bradley Hathaway, by the way, is awesome in concert. I feel very inclined to learn some guitar, take writing seriously, and go on tour sometime.

sometime. we'll see. All i can really think about these days is how easily i could have a more enjoyable job. and then, i wander back to recognizing how much a blessing the job i have now is- being that it's right beside my house, and it pays well. gr. This is one of those things I've realized in the past year, one of the side effects of maturity-

we will always wrestle with our blessings. we're always wishing that there was more. and maybe thats a side effect of our broken nature- we are prone to feel incomplete.

alas. I feel too down to write a lot today. what a horrible way to feel.