the stuff of life

i've been feeling down for the past couple days. And, for the past week it seems like i haven't had a good thought worth writing about, or any drive at all to write. which makes me kind of angry. so, here is whats bringing me down, in list form (not that i'm trying to play the self-pity card... not this time)-

a) my mom moved to washington, over the easter weekend while i was still in abbostford. and my sister is moving to duncan. which means i no longer have any family living in nanaimo. it's like ever last chance i had for that place to be home again, is gone.

a.2) on mothers day, all i could think about was my dad.

b) i'm wrestling with the notion of just getting the hell away from this job, and trying to pick up an internship in nanaimo again. but maybe i just need to step up, be a man, and get used to working.

my big excuse for not liking a labor job, is my messed up foot (anyone who knows me well enough knows that, indeed, i have a messed up foot, because of a childhood accident). i've bought two pairs of shoes for this job so far, both of which have caused my foot to twist into an uncomfortable angle, for hours. its a stupid reason, i know.

c) but mostly, i'm just pissed off because i don't feel like anything. i can't seem to articulate a single thought that makes any sense. everything i feel is unbalanced. i know that i'm supposed to work hard, and earn my keep, but why am i so bitter about it? i don't know.

it feels like somethings missing (john mayer said it best). my life is the same, minus the stupid adventures, which always gave me something to write about.