when i have nothing to say

...but I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
i will sing to the LORD,
for he has been good to me.

-psalm 13

i wrote this journal entry, back in october . i'm going to use this in my Christian Imagination final, and make tony funk love me (more... and in a brotherly sense).

1) I journal when i have nothing to say, just so i can write.
2) i fear that i'm not interesting
3) art is all i have, sometimes
4) when it rains, it pours.

in the autumn, things change quickly. green leaves turn brown, soft grass turns cold and rigid. skies turn grey, and people furrow their brows at the chilling wind. some things change in the fall. and some don't.

like Christ. i realized something. that Christ is the one constant in my life, one thing that never changes... one thing that never succumbs to cold or age. what does change is how i relate my faith, to life.

i relate to Christ when i write. i've always seen writing as a literary art form. and, i've only recently seen art as a means of expressing ones soul... a deep longing to come to terms with ones own humanity. a way of trying understand why we are made the way we are.

sometimes art is all we have. especially in unsure times. times when we are surrounded by doubt and turmoil. or even, more realistically, surrounded by a visible lack of hope.

some art can't can't be explained. at it's heart, art is impractical- it's not supposed to make a lot of sense. sometimes art is not something you try to create. it just happens. it's something that sits lingers in the soul, and waits for it's proper outlet.

confession- i find it hard to be honest with myself. being honest with others, is easy.