well, for the past three days i've been sitting in the collgium, extracting pages and pages of my online journals to publisher, mulling over the thoughts with nemerous mugs of earl grey tea.
so i thought it was about time to make some new thoughts. hmm. and now i can't think of anything to say. dang.
i've noticed, a lot of my thoughts seem fragmented, pieced together. i don't seem to have a lot of completed thoughts. it feels like i've wandered my mind for the past week, and i haven't found a deiscernable direction.
so, maybe this is how my life for the past 4 months can be described. running in so many directions, not finding my way. so i think, life is lived one day a time, to use the cliche'. life is lived between the day to day. between the errands we have to run everyday, there is a conviction to live life.
and its the convtions that make us want to do something. everyone has an inherant convition- a call- to action. to end the aids pandemic, to sit beside the poverty stricken in the downtown east side, or the neighbor with a broken family. and i don't think anyone should ignore that call.
there are moments where we can stop and take a deep breath, realize these things, and wonder at the awe of this life.
and it's in those moments we notice the etchings in the drawing, like fingerprints on a clay pot. these are the marks of a creator. look at an pice of art work, and you will notice small things that jump out as if to say "this was made by someone". i think God leaves signs of himself everywhere. we're just not sure how to recognize them sometimes. it is a beautiful thing, to know why we exist. which is something i still have to find.
i feel very "donald miller"ish today.
on a side note, my school is having an "arts and peace festival" next fall, and i might be on the planning commitee. we're (by we, i mean me and my grass roots menno prof) are trying to get shane claiborne to come speak. we'll see.
thought of the day: I need to believe in myself, a little more.
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2 comments:
i was going to write that i believe in you, and then it occurred to me that it's totally discredited if i say that and still don't believe in myself. so i will choose to believe in both of us.
pieces and pieces and pieces... if only you knew how much I feel the way you do. I think that's why I love reading your words... they're my own words, applied to somebody else's life. Do you find, too, that you write thematically? That you dwell on one thing, mulling it over in your mind for long periods of time, and it's incomplete until you've written it down from every possible angle? The process could take days, weeks, months, or years.... In a way, an obsession.
We need to talk again soon. And... I need to write you a letter, too... long overdue. It'll come.
Thanks. -K
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