any given thursday.

What is new in life you ask?

a) Finally did the right thing, and bought a mac. This system works famously. It feels like, compared to windows, I was wearing plastic bags on my feet instead of shoes. 

b) Finished work last week. Now I'm taking it relatively easy for a week, planning a Lance Odegard concert. 

c) Radiohead was, in many ways, the most beautiful concert I have seen. I think the most sacred moment of my summer was standing in the pouring rain, in a crowd of thousands, most of which which probably pretty high, listening to "House of Cards" and "Paranoid Android". It does not get much better than that. 

d) The book I started this summer if ridiculously close to being finished. I'm trying to think of the most effective way to get it to my friends who live thousands of miles from me. 

d.2) I read 7 novels this summer. 

e) Last week I picked four pounds of blackberries. Come over sometime and help me finish them ;). 

f) I should really stop using lists. 

ten pages left

Precursor: I am listening to "Justice" right now.

Spring Break: Chapter one.

On Friday some friends and I drove into Vancouver to see Xavier Rudd. After the consumption of some very overpriced sketchy burgers we walked a block away from where we parked to the Queen Elizabeth theatre.
The concert opened with a guitarist with a jamaican/australian accent, who sang songs about nature. Kelsey, Greg and I exchanged bad jokes to each other while sitting on a balcony waiting for Xavier to kick it.

The show itself was amazing, save for a rather drab audience sitting in the balcony with us, compiled mostly of chachy guys who brought their girlfriends for the sole purpose of sitting around complaining about the people who were dancing.

I was thoroughly impressed by the many drums, native sounds, diggeree doos (which is spelled wrong) and overall excitement. At one point 60 or so kids rushed the stage, and were pushed off by the large security force, all two of them, which was fun enough in itself to watch.

(pause briefly to acknowlede my very annoying self-reflective dry writing style... noted).

(note, also, that I have had too much coffee and am, thus, running out of creative energy to finish this embarassingly boring entry which, like those stories actors tell in bad DVD commentaries, only I will find interesting).

Yesterday Brad and I drove into Seattle to see Lifehouse- a band which I have been listening to since high school. After realizing the venue was nowhere near Pike Place, and realizing we had 5 hours to waste, we shared a pint at a brewery across the street from Safeco Field. Then it was off to the show.

The opending act was HoneyHoney, a band with a guitarist that looks exactly like Andrew Stock and a singer that looks sort of like Kendra Wilson.

The next act was this guy named Matt Nathanson, an artist who had a big head (literally) and really dry humor.

And then Lifehouse. I think the two best moments of the evening were the first ten seconds of their set- watching Jason wander out of a purple-lit cloud of smoke up to the mic (beautiful) and watching Bryce rock the lead vocals of "Bridges".

I was definately close enough to see the hair on Bryce's face. Except he was pretty clean shaven that day so there was no real hair. Even so, If he did have facial hair I would have been close enough to see it.

As well, I loved getting to sing every word in "Am I ever going to find out", secretly wishing I could stand on stage and sing the backing vocals.
It is a very different experience getting to see a band you have studied for years but have never actually met. Standing on stage it felt Like Jason, Sean, and Bryce were close friends I had known for years, and I kept waiting for one of them to wave at me, and say "Hey, Adam. Glad you came".

Yes. That is creepy. Even so.

Speaking of me being a weirdo, before the show started I struck up a conversation with Michelle Ben about the Backstreet Boys. I told her how I had to go to 5 different record stores trying to find their first CD when it first came out, and how I tried to buy tickets to one of their shows but it sold out in 30 seconds (I don't think that would happen anymore).

All in all, a very good time.

Today I woke up about ten, wrote some notes for a paper I am trying to write this week, talked to Reide Norman for a bit, and then did not feel like writing anymore...

Which sucks, because I have to give a youth talk tommorow about food.
So, that is how I managed to see two concerts in four days. Now I am broke.

Alas.

I probably have something important to do right now. I have to figure out what. See you later.

- Adam

sunrise, sunrise

It has been a long (long) week. It has also been the first week of spring.

Today was our last day of classes before "reading week", so I'm wrapping up the week with many a social gathering. Some friends and I put on a photography night last night, with amazing spice teas and paintings. Tonight I'm co-hosting a concert for a friend.

For Spring Break (aka, reading week)... I don't know. I can try to have a ten pager done, as well getting a lot of reading done, but those things are always in the air, never fully planned or followed through as originally planned.

This week, to explain the many details, I have;

1) Held someone close
2) Painted
3) Read poems under a tree that me and some friends named "Desmond".
4) Felt angry and frustrated at myself.
5) not done homework.
6) Smoked a clove cigar
7) Listened to Norah Jones surrounded by friends and the smell of coffee
8) Printed beautiful photographs, taken by friends. Wished I could show you.
9) Listened to "My Morning Jacket" in the morning.
10) Laughed

So... Its been a lot of friends. Which is always good.

I owe you some pictures, or perhaps some more good music. My computer is still broken, as are all of my lent goals for this year. It is a great sense of defeat as well as a longing for forgiveness and redemption.

Funny how that works.

- Adam

PS- I'm seeing Lifehouse and Xavier Rudd this week. Woot.

endless numbered days

Hello Friends.

You will all be happy to know that I am safe in Vancouver, after three days of fun in Washington state.

Some good stuff I found:

In downtown bellingham I found one street with three packed bookstores! I came pretty close to spending an entire day there. My time was divided between The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath and some Luci Shaw poems (foolishly, I did not purchase either of those). Eventually I just picked up a copy of Traveling Mercies for my mom.

I found this great artsy town called "Fairhaven", with a cafe that served vegetarian food, a record store right next to an italian coffee place, inside a building with a small fountain and winding stairs. It was heaven.

At the record store I found copies of "Our endless numbered days" by Iron and Wine on vinyl. This purchase will definately turn into many nights of tea and conversation.

I had concluded that I will definately live inside an artsy town when I grow up.

So. I will keep you updated. I need some down time. or some home-made alfredo sauce.

Thus is my traveling life.

traveling grace

Imagination seems to be the thing least valued in our present culture. There is a lot of attention given to fantasy, but the difference between fantasy and imagination is that in fantasy the story has us at the center of it, indulging us. Imagination takes us beyond ourselves.

- eugene peterson

A Christmas Journal: Chapter 6

My life is turning another chapter today. Kind of. Upon realizing that this isn't the home I thought it would be, I'm going to go look for it.

I'm traveling to the Seattle area tommorow to meet up with my mom, who moved there this year with a man she met online. It should be good. Apperantly she lives in a tiny place called "Ferndale", so many adventures and conversatians involving my weird progressive ideas will ensue.

Then after that I'm going into Vancouver, the most beautiful city I know. On this stretch of my trip I will be:

1) taking the skytrain to the neighborhoods I frequent- Gastown, Granville, East Hastings, Commercial.
2) Stopping into the Vancouver Arts Gallery for the "Georgia O'Keefe" exhibit.
3) Sitting down at JJ Bean
4) Meeting at least one or two people of the creative and feminine persuasion. hopefully. If I can get over this whole "insecure" thing.

5) Writing something.
6) Conversing about life.
7) chasing a skunk. or a squirrel.

And just for fun, I'm going to put together a collection of things that every person in their twenties should experience. If you haven't already experienced these mainstays make sure you do... today. unless you already have (Heather):

Illinois - Sufjan Stevens
Five Leaves Left - Nick Drake
Transatlanticism - Death Cab for Cutie

Garden State
The Royal Tennenbaums
Good Will Hunting

Blue Like Jazz - Donald Miller
Traveling Mercies - Anne Lamott
Life after God - Douglas Copeland

The list goes on. On a side note, I always feel like a bit of a tool when I look back on a long blog and realize that I have not said much. Or, I have said too much and lack a central uniting theme.

Sigh. I'll work on that when I'm traveling. I think thats what traveling is all about, really- finding some wisdom in writing. You learn to say what is important, and work through the rest in solitude- working through the details quietly over a warm drink, enjoying the relaxing prospect of developing insights and connections.

Let's talk. Later.

- Adam

hiding in the paper, pretending not to hear

So, it has turned out to be a fine Christmas. Today has been a lot of hanging out with friends, eating bad "chinese" food, smoking cigars, and pints of Keith's.

And watching the traditional Christmas movies: The Santa Clause, Home Alone, Almost Famous.

A Christmas Journal Chapter 5: Lessons of a Christmas alone.

- You need something to start the day. Without something to start the day, it becomes hours of nothing.

- Malls, even though filled with many people, will only make you feel more alone.

- In some cases it is better to go out for tea. It gives you an excuse to get out of the house.

- Red Peppers are not in season during the Christmas season.

- Yams and Sweet Potatoes, however, are (I think).

- I need to figure out some way to become more confident. Less depressed about life.

My roommate called me on that today. He told me I have to start talking about what is depressing me, work through it. I have to agree. Something I'll have to think about this year.

- I need to build up friendships, for those times when the community of school is not around. Though, there is hope in knowing I have a community to come back to, after all this.

- This home thing. I don't think I'm sincerely pursuing something called "home". As much as I'm just identifying with feeling sad/lost. A better thing to pursue could be as simple as honest/sincere conversations.

I don't know. This all seems like just another late-night desperate attempt at answers, trying to feel like I have at least one small aspect of my life figured out.

I think I do have a lot figured out. Now, its just a matter of accepting that. Accepting that, yeah, I'm a mess, but I do have a lot of wisdom to offer. I have said it before; How can you love someone else if you do not love yourself? How can you offer love to someone if you don't feel like the love you have to offer is any good? How can you offer your passions and gifts to someone unless you recognize how valid those things are?

something like that. I still have a lot to learn.

- The way to figure out who you are is through relationships. People that love me see things in me that I do not see in myself.

- Having deep moments of reflection is what being in your 20s is all about.
- I need to learn how to listen.

So. Thus is my first Christmas away from home, trying to learn something about myself. The journey continues.

All the best. Talk to you next week.

- Adam

Listening: Sufjan (this song is a gift for you).
Thinking: You
Feeling: Lonely
Sorry: This entry was so long.